Every morning, its 11:30. Regardless of what hour I went to bed, I wake up at 11:30. It kills me because I never slept this late in NY or RI. It was always a very rare occasion to sleep so late. Last night I went to bed at midnight. Still 11:30.
I’m just in a strange mood. Coming here has offered much more self reflection than I thought (and that’s a good thing!), but I just feel like I’ve made a lot of wrong turns in my life. Not bad turns, just wrong for my life. I feel that locationally I may be exactly where I want to be but in life I am so far off from my target. I feel unsure. I feel ignored. And, honestly, I feel alone. I was so naive to ride on the campaign of “don’t worrys.”
Still, I am not homesick. Something is going on and this is a journey I got to take on my own. Which is why I am excited to go backpacking at the end of this semester completely alone. 10 countries. 4-6 weeks. By myself. I feel like a male version of Elizabeth Gilbert.
